Feeling blessed

I've never understood why people pretend.Because I have rarely had to.
I have been lucky that way.
I don't know what is making my peers feel so insecure...Lately,everytime I walk into my classroom-everyday underneath their smiles,I can see their eyes reveal the quiet desperation they feel.Everytime I log into my Facebook page,it is there pulsating with its own life.Its like they have suddenly realised that after school,everybody is their own individual.That they won't be XII H anymore.And everyone will drift away farther into their lives and the relationships they may have forged may not remain over time.Some,may not even see the light of day a few months into college.So they nod at what they might not agree with and smile at everything that is supposed to elicit the given reaction.And they do all this with the fear of being thrust into oblivion in the memories of these people that they have spent years and years growing up with.They do not want to be a forgotten memory.
While,I understand this desperation and fear the same myself,although a little removed from my fears than my fellow peers.I do not think being agreeable or acting likeable is going to improve the situation any.What has been,has been.What little impact we were to make in these lives,we have made.And there is no going back unless we are granted a bounty of time to correct our mistakes and rethink our actions.To re-do things.
And also on such occasions when I look around and feel their insecurity emanating through them and trying to reach me,which they eventually do.But are still unable to affect me as entirely.I've cursed popularity on many an occasion.And wished I wasn't as involved with people.Never understood the people who desire it at the cost of losing their individuality or the other hardships that one has to face in an all-girl's high-school to achieve..well,popularitydom.But isn't popularity a mirage?When popularity is not a crown,only then does it retain its original meaning.And even though I still have my low times when I find myself completely alone.I am grateful for all those people that I call my friends,because they have accepted me,inspite of me.They have never let me pretend.