Inspired [From "Nausea"]

The TV keeps singing a tune I don't remember.I was watching it just a split second ago.Watching.Assimiliating.But now I don't remember.There are two men inside it.Hurling abuses at each other and choking up on their own spit.
But why?
I look around.I am inside a room.A 'room',they call it.Funny word.It is painted and fairly large.Would have been airy but the windows are all shut.The paint is peeling off with age.Everyday,a little bit of colour picks up its shine and walks away,it seems.To find its brethren among someplace more vibrant.
I no longer know why I have my senses.I receive information unable to process them.Unable to make any sense of them.The information keeps getting clogged.Piling up like dead bodies in a red-tape area.
Everything is going to make sense in a while again.For the moment,I'll just have to fight off the meaninglessness of my existence.Of your existence.In a moment,I'll have words wanting to escape my throat like hurricanes,I'll have a thousand things to say,a hundred to do.Enthusiasm to assimilate and process incoming information.
In a moment,I'll go back to living the life you've created for me.


Ooh.And I've found out what I want to do after having come of age.I want to go Bungee Jumping.I actually,would like to skydive.But I'm guessing Bungee Jumping would be a good start. =] Cheers.

Day Five

Which Quidditch position would you play?

-Beater

been having rather bizarre dreams lately.every night. -___- but what can you do?
R.E.M. Uberlin NEW

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Day Four.

What would your favorite classes be?

Ghoul Studies-Spookeehh!
Transfiguration-Handy.
Charms-Accio.

Defence Against the Dark Arts Practicals-Boggarts!!

Quidditch-Beater!
History of Magic-Doubtful that I'd be a different kind of person even in Potterworld.

Day Three

Which House would you be in?

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

Says every Internet quiz I've ever taken,really.I'd fancy myself in Slytherin though,if I could sort myself..Slytherin always seemed rather foreboding and hence,automatically fascinating.Splendid history,its got.
I'd like to be able to speak Parseltongue too.

-_-

There are movies.And then there are some.

Random Crap

Also,Prince William and Kate Middleton get hitched tomorrow at St.Paul's Cathedral,Westminster Abbey.Looks like every important affair in history happens at that certain place.
I do not quite fancy him,his younger brother though is quite the hottie.Squeaky clean reputations are such a turnoff.Was watching their mum's wedding video footage on TV a few nights back.And she was beautiful.I think the only erstwhile royal that comes any near is THE Grace Kelly,and then too barely just.
Also,the elections have taken a rather interesting turn.Switch on the TV.Its called the Purulia Arms Drop fiasco.Some warped up brilliance.Most of what is being said is not to be taken at face value,its an elaborate affair of loose knots,one's that will lead to quite shocking revelations if tied up correctly.Lots of ambiguity involved,so the task is not that easy.But you cannot help but admire the brainpower of these mastermind conspirators.
So Kolkata is quite the place to be and not be for now,depending on how you look at things.The hotseat of political activity has been added yet more fire to.And it is quite surely on its way to transforming into a devastating inferno.

Handlebars – Flobots Song Lyrics

Princess Di,

Quite the queen of hearts,say.
You are much loved and admired still.

Day Two

Which animal would you have as a pet?

Correction.Which animals!



Pet #1 would be a Thestral.
Why?Because- 1.Not everybody can see them anyway.
2.Because they are misunderstood.
3.Because I could ride them and look like I was sailing through air.Ha!
Also,they are outlawed by the Ministry.And rare.And surprisingly wise.Go thestrals!!






Pet #2 would be a dragon.More specifically,a Swedish Short Snout.
-Because,dragons are cool.And you can ride them,again.
-Because,this little thing is blue and little in size and can still pack a punch if it wants to.
-Because it mostly shuns company.
And it shoots blue flames from its mouth.Blue!Could it get any cooler?Neeaah.
xD
My Harry Potter pets rock! ;)

Apolitical

I'm doing this post because I vaguely realise that I'd like to look back later and read what the now-present,then-past me would have to say about it.
Today,my city goes to vote.The streets are empty.The shops are closed.And everybody has a say.
Today,there are no multiplexes and standalones,no fibre-glass windowed shiny cars and no crowded slow public buses.There are no high profile lounges and cafes that deny entry to a certain class.Today,there is no class.
Everybody is a person today.A person with an opinion.An opinion that counts.
I fantasize,that 10 years later,if I'm successful in my pursuits,when I'll have a job I desire,they'll call it The Historic Elections of 2011,when the utopian cry for change triumphed over the leftist tradition in Bengal.And Bengal breathed in a new freedom from the Leftist stronghold.In freedom that they did not know what to do with.In freedom,or that is atleast,what they thought.
The silence in the streets today,is the calm before a storm.It is that of the resigned calf that has accepted its sorry fate-it is to be sacrifice.And for what?
This is revolution for the sake of it.
Change-the catchphrase,done to death by the lady in the white saree with the green border.Abused.Stripped,to suit a party's selfish motives of rising to power.
Change,the candy thrust at the "people" they so worship,to lure them,to lull them into an anaesthetised state of blissful submission.
Dear Future Me,I am still very apolitical.And ashamed.I haven't been able to grasp the dynamics of politics yet.More so,that of a country like mine.Yes,I am unworthy in my ignorance.Perhaps,it will take me a little more time to cure the 17 years of oblivion that I've lived through apathy.But I'm a step closer to forming my political identity.I am not Rightist.
And also,in my humble attempt at understanding politics and studying it a little more.I shall watch "Gulaal" now,to mark this occasion.
=]
Yours,
The wide-eyed child.

Day One.

I'm doing the Harry Potter 10 Day Blog Challenge.Call me crazy.Bweh.
Thank You,Rowling,for creating the only modern day fantasy franchise that I and so many like me can still somehow relate to and of course,for bringing the witches back! :D For creating an entire world of magic one can disappear into on long boring sunny afternoons.You rock.

What would your ideal wand be made of?
-12 inch long
-Unicorn feather core
-Sturdy built
-Reed

..You do not choose the wand.The wand chooses you... x_X eehyaa

सिलेंस एंड थेन नोइस

I've been gathering lots of pearls of wisdom lately.
Just last night,I came upon the sudden realisation that I can write!No,really.Up until then I had been finding various excuses to stop myself from believing that for some screwed up reason.
Pearl of wisdom #2 would be.. I might be able to write but that does not mean that I will be read.Because,the relationship between writing something and having it read is one of rather minute complexities.
Pearl of wisdom #3 is- I do not write about blooming buttercups and radiant daisies.Much of what I write is in dire need of sunshine injections.Writing,being my foremost form of self-expression,I do not want to separate myself from all that I write.Much of the fiction I churn out is inspired from my life and that of others around me too.
Pearl of wisdom #4- And while I may continue with this blatant self-obsession,others will find buttercups and sunshine to read about in other writers' works.Because clearly the world is in no immediate need of more gloom and people do not want to read what will make them feel even worse about themselves than they already do.
And later when it comes down to it,neither will they pay you to make them feel critical about themselves.


So .. how much are you willing to sell yourself for?

Calls for more thought for food.Hmmmmm.

The Button-Delete

You Are Blessed

You believe that everyone should be given space to do their own thing. You certainly need it! You have no desire to lead or follow. Anyone is welcome to join you on your journey for a while. You are shy at first but talkative with people you know extremely well. You open up over time. You are naturally quite spiritual. You see the bigger picture and where you fit in.

The Sushi Chopstick Test

Blogthings: We'll Tell You The Truth... Someone Has To!

I am currently obsessed with new addition to the sidebar.Some song.Needless to say,I spent most of yesterday listening to psychedelia online.Watched Page 3,that rounded off the movie marathon.And lookie,I am going to start studying.After I finish with Moravia.Allen did little to pretend to be in-between because I encountered the word "existential" in every other page.So I abandoned the book after a couple of short stories.And I have a terrible cold. =/ Red nose and everything.
More poetry,later.
Cold WInd <3 xoxo
Life is such a string of co-incidences sometimes.

Feeling blessed

I've never understood why people pretend.Because I have rarely had to.
I have been lucky that way.
I don't know what is making my peers feel so insecure...Lately,everytime I walk into my classroom-everyday underneath their smiles,I can see their eyes reveal the quiet desperation they feel.Everytime I log into my Facebook page,it is there pulsating with its own life.Its like they have suddenly realised that after school,everybody is their own individual.That they won't be XII H anymore.And everyone will drift away farther into their lives and the relationships they may have forged may not remain over time.Some,may not even see the light of day a few months into college.So they nod at what they might not agree with and smile at everything that is supposed to elicit the given reaction.And they do all this with the fear of being thrust into oblivion in the memories of these people that they have spent years and years growing up with.They do not want to be a forgotten memory.
While,I understand this desperation and fear the same myself,although a little removed from my fears than my fellow peers.I do not think being agreeable or acting likeable is going to improve the situation any.What has been,has been.What little impact we were to make in these lives,we have made.And there is no going back unless we are granted a bounty of time to correct our mistakes and rethink our actions.To re-do things.
And also on such occasions when I look around and feel their insecurity emanating through them and trying to reach me,which they eventually do.But are still unable to affect me as entirely.I've cursed popularity on many an occasion.And wished I wasn't as involved with people.Never understood the people who desire it at the cost of losing their individuality or the other hardships that one has to face in an all-girl's high-school to achieve..well,popularitydom.But isn't popularity a mirage?When popularity is not a crown,only then does it retain its original meaning.And even though I still have my low times when I find myself completely alone.I am grateful for all those people that I call my friends,because they have accepted me,inspite of me.They have never let me pretend.

There are Others

Winter,lonely winter
are you looking for your bride?
did she leave you at the altar
tell me winter,did you hide?
Did they swoop upon your heart too?
did they tell you what was wrong?
warmthless winter.did you pretend
that you didn't know it,all along?
I hear they say you've cursed yourself
bereaved,of light and hope and dawn
and colour,and sweet melody
for an eternity to mourn
so breathe into us
your cold dead air
and chill us to the bone.
And put us to sleep,in your quiet misery
Winter,winter,you're not alone.

Written on a cold December day last year.

When I was younger I wanted to start a band.So I wrote songs.
Like all kids want to.
And then I grew up.

Black

I think I'll start with the blogging challenges since I have increasingly little left to say.I don't really know why but I feel like shutting up.Like this-
Or rather,I feel like this.Like I have said too much,wasted too many words on nothing.They say when you confess,it takes the burden of the secrets off your shoulder.As a kid I was always tempted by the concept of confession in a church.An anonymous confession to a person behind dark veils.And though I wasn't Christian,I always wanted to experience that.I have no religion.But I've been inspired by a lot many religious practices across cultures.Like that of namaz or that of the monks,the Sufi's.
So that is that,and I'll probably be taking a break from the whine routine.
I watched "Life in a metro" last night.And loved how well they integrated the songs into the situations,it was perfect.Remember how I was supposed to do a post on morality on your sister blog?Never got around to it.Well the movie dealt with a lot of that.Of how people perceive morals and etiquettes.And well atleast in big cities,I think they are considered unnecessary by most.Maybe I am starting to sound like some crazy anarchist.Not that I am not,but then again,I am not really either.Who defined these morals?People themselves.Why?Because they were afraid of what they themselves were capable of,were they to realise their true potential.Why again?Because that is human nature,it is cowardly.And that too,these morals were invented centuries back.They reek of ancience.How can they be applied to a society that has been radically changed,transformed into something that holds little or no resemblance to what it used to be when these rules and regulations were thought up.I fail to understand.I do not want the world to plunge into any higher chaos,but it looks like that the world we reside in now is already deep into a chaos that is of our own devise.If we do not need these rules,why can't we discard them altogether?Why do we have to hold on to them with all our life in discontentment?Because that is how our forefathers envisioned the future?Well then,for that matter,I do not think they envisioned anything like an I-Pad or the kind of mass hysteria that its launch incited.Really,what is the need?Its like we keep inventing things we do not require to distract ourselves from the creeping realisation in the back of our minds that we are all doomed.Are we really going forward or are we just regressing in the facade of progression?
Wow.
The book really had its effect.I finished it.Finally.Now I'm going to read a novel by Woody Allen that I picked up during the KBF.Yes,you read that right.A book by Woody Allen.
At the end of the novel,Sartre says through the character he uses to illustrate his thoughts,that he wants to do something that will justify his existence.. a book,perhaps that will make people realise the misery of their existence.Well,old boy,you succeeded and how!
I believe you are what you read.And lets just say that if you read Sartre much,you are literally walking dead.
Have a Good Friday. :)
Song for Post:

Sum 41 There s No Solution

This MP3 was found at Dilandau MP3

Just had one of those really claustrophobic,exhaustive pissing off days.You know when it all seems rather devoid.
And meaning plays such a hard-to-get bitch.
Existential literature has no point.Spending money on existential literature is such a paradox.Isn't it?Well yeah sure,its good to have what you think spelled out but it makes you feel like a crockful of shit.And yet,I think I might like it.Because such is life. -_0
Who are you cheating if you're cheating in an IQ Test?Competition at its worst.
Oh well.Theme song for today,and other such days-

	Zero7 - In The Waiting Line .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Because you do things,for other people and it makes you think,so does everybody.Well,not.
Stop fooling yourself.
Your success is for others to praise.Your failures for them to ridicule.To each his own.But you aren't everybody.Remember.And always keep varied measuring scales handy. :]

Lawyered

You don't know
you don't know much
you don't know
you don't know even a little,more or ..enough

Sometimes I think I deliberately want to seem abominable to people.

Oh.Good News.They're shifting us back to the old classroom.
Yay-ayh-ayyyh.Damn.I can breathe again.
Thank You,administration.You came to your senses.
Well,a little anyway.

Lazy Day.I've been listening to random indie online radio since forever.Time to get moving me thinks.Si.

Out.Roger.

Also.

..the original "Man who can't be moved".Infact,even better.

Diet

bullshit.

Finite Incantatem

Yes.All the spells have died.
The new class is little more than a cement box.Its like we are contesting for MTV Crunch,which by the way,is the lamest show I have set eyes on,ever.
Also,now everybody knows how my tattoo looks like and yet nobody really knows what it is.90% of them anyway.Wooot.
News on that.Surprisingly,I happen to posess the more adaptable kind of skin,so it has almost completely healed already.
Ah.And the Psychology teacher appears to have finished an entire chapter on our first day back.You know,minus the fact that none of us carried any books today on ocassion of it being a half..err.. no,a quarter day.
That.And I was sentimentally down in the pits last night.The sort when I want to throw away my cellphone.I made do,though.I didn't go to PIT.
I sort of really wanted to.Whatever.Its prolly a good thing I didn't.
I read mechanical.Don't I?I will,now on.Now,that school is on again.It has that sort of an effect,if it doesn't make me all out rebellious.And since,I am not going to give myself much of a chance to be that rebel this session.I am just going to go mechanical.And walk like a martian.
Plus,the last blog was conceived more out of boredom,than anything really.There was much too much time on my hands.And yeah,for the ocassional venting to the online equivalent of a shrink.
Sad.But its also time for me to start to end my personal online movie marathon.Gee.
So thats probably it for now.Layter.

Uh Yeah So

This still is from "Gabriel".Seemed inspired from Milton,a little.
The only time I read "Paradise Lost",I think I was 13.I read it.And thought,"Yeaaap,that felt like shit".Because it did.Tortured intellectuals are half as fun to read.


Film Noir is among the best things that happened to humans.For further reference,check-
Sin City
The Spirit
300
Beowulf


Pity,I haven't watched "V for Vendetta" yet.
Bollywood needs its share of neo-noir.If only it stopped making movies like Zokkomon.

Also,it stormed.Yay.And then it rained.
x)

And I want Ellen DeGeneres back on my TV.Star World India,bring the old shows back.I haven't watched 90210 for more than a year! -__-

Panic

Panic.I am seized by panic.I think I'm scared.Every year the day before the school is to start for a new session I am usually having waking nightmares about the most harmless of things.And even though I'm willing to give living beings the benefit of doubt,I cannot say the same for situations.Situations,we cannot manipulate.Them,we cannot control.However much we might think we can.
So,well,err I am all panicky.And all the nerves are pretty jumpy and taut.The day has been going well so far which accounts for why I haven't snapped at anybody yet.
I'd normally talk to a few friends in hopes of being calmed down in such situations.But I haven't yet,because this kind of mood also has its added sarcasm.The kind that is hurtful.So I am restraining myself until I can get the sadist witch out.
Ink=Scabs=Ink
Funny,eh?And insightful.Learnt it the hard way.
I haven't thankfully ruined my tattoo or anything,just a little bit of the ink inside is gone. :[
Hoping the ink comes back deeper now,somehow.Whoever thought getting the tattoo done was the hardest part,clearly had no idea.
Clean your shoes.Organise the uniform.
Ugh.
Painted yesterday.The girl has green hair. xD We're all tree-huggers,yo!
And there's a song for every mood,isn't there?
*Panic Switch-Silversun Pickups* Though,this particular song just makes me go more paranoid.

Oh Fuck

I hope I didn't mess with the colours too much.I pulled at the scabs. =/

Spirals.

Someday,when I'm older,I intend to read his poetry.

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange

India needs its own Woodstock.Its been more than sixty years since Independence.

To the morning people

Have been listening to a lot of "Tool" since morning.Had never listened to them much before.I remember Niloy Da playing it in his studio while he inked me.
The tattoo has finally started to form scabs.Hoping the colour doesn't fade much.
Its the last weekend before school starts.Not really feeling anything distinct about that.Just anticipation.A mild sense of anticipation.And very numb.
Things are better at home.I think I'll paint today.
Hoping to finish "Nausea" by the end of the weekend.
Yesterday,was the Bengali New Year actually.So that has left me healthier and richer.And a little bit more happier thanks to all my little cousins.Kids are so adorable.
I always thought Norah Jones had the most colourless and depressing music videos,never liked jazz either,so I was always automatically put off by any of her work.I remember the first time I watched the video for "Come Away With Me" on TV,and I absolutely hated it.It grew on me later,though.Unlike her other songs.I did not understand the omnipresent melancholic strain in her music and hence,it irked me.Well,I can proudly say I don't feel that way anymore.She has a powerful voice.An emotive powerful voice.
As,for the movie.I liked the subplots better than what was supposed to be the main plot of the movie.Nothing too profound.And though I haven't watched anything else by him yet,somehow it felt like it was tailor-made to cater to the Hollywood mainstream.IMHO.
And yes,going to attend:
Later.
*Aenema-Tool* \\nn//,

I needed to get the hell out.

Something incredible and everyday happened.It rained.
I was lying facefront on my bed in that drifting place between sleep and wakefulness looking blankly out my window at the flailing clouds for only God knows how long.And then the gust of wind brought the first drops of rain,and drenched the house across from me completely in the span of a few minutes.Like a tempestuous frenzied painter in his moment of inspiration,splashes after splashes,after splashes,I watched the rain engulf the whole building.Watched it with a sense of immense satisfaction,as there remained no spot dry on its body anymore.As the rain embraced everything it touched.Felt happy.
Rolled over onto my back.Put my earphones on and listened to another marathon of Kasabian and random indie songs.My mp3 player is now filled with all sorts of lesser known indie/alternative songs.They have wiped out every bit of hard rock there ever was.Or anything else,for that matter.
Suppose you were made to pick between a bowl of ice-cream sundae and an assortment of chocolates,what would you pick?I would pick ice-cream,anyday.The best cure for the blues.
So here's to Summer-Try and cramp my style. xD
Because you have to be optimistic ..till the storms come.And come,they will.There is nothing like a good gust of cold Summer wind.
*Underdog-Kasabian*