It rains, sometimes.

I had an awful lot to say.
To vent.
To whine.
Make an exhibitionist ragdoll of my anger and sorrow.
But the good, the bad, the ugly neutralised itself and left me with nothing to say.
The last few days have taught me more than I could have imagined possible.
I knew I was naive, despite everything, at some primal emotional core of my being.What I never gave a thought to, however, was that this naivete was not only restricted to my sentimental experiences but encapsulated the whole of me.
I must be broken.
Believe me, I am.
I suppose all my friends think I'm in a dark room somewhere with the windows boarded up, self-medicating. And I am. Inside my mind. Outside, I am shopping for a 'new life'.
I have a college. A good college. I have the course I wanted. A lot of people wanted.
Most people do not even have that. Right?
Then why am I not happy? Well. I suppose because I never really gave a shit about Anna Hazare. Or whatever the heck. 'Corruption'.. 'Reservations'.. were all pretty words I learnt from my Political Science textbook.
Until my classmates from different streams altogether started buying themselves seats people like me deserved. And colleges stopped bringing out 'official' second lists. Until I heard of how an acquaintance had been college-hopping with a recommendation letter from  the State Education Minister. And people whu tok lyk ds got into the college I'd prayed ceaselessly for. Prayed to a God I knew didn't exist.
Social capital is a priceless possession, capiche?
Calcutta, you have let me down.
But I will survive. You hear me? Tomorrow is another day.